Day Two

Well yesterday went pretty well. There was one time where I wanted to be upset with Ben but knowing that he had already made up his mind I decided to be patient and understanding. Of course it is over silly things. We go out to eat a lot, he was leaving today to go hunting and we had dinner planned at home for Thursday. Well Ben was feeling a little over whelmed with trying to get ready for his trip that he wanted to go out instead of cooking dinner. Knowing that I was coming home late and could not cook I decided to let it go. This was pretty hard but although it was silly I was disappointed at the prospect of the food going bad that was not getting cooked and of the prospect of having to eat away from home yet again. I was really trying to respect his feelings and remember that disagreeing would not change anything but stir up a disagreement. Being negative is really something that sticks out to me like a sore thumb, this is easily recognized. While eating out (again) the service was really slow and Ben was getting impatient. I really was trying to take deep breaths and try and change the subject without giving him the feeling that I wasn't listening or that I was disregarding his feelings. I could of easily made comments like don't be impatient or we aren't in a hurry or something but again I felt these would just stir up a disagreement. Although yesterday went well this is going to take a lot of work but I am up for it. I feel God is really showing me the opportunities to change my reaction instead of trying to change Ben. I have thought really hard about how to handle Ben being out of town, what is best for me is since he will not be away again before the 40 days is over I am going to keep going. I feel like if I am one way towards my spouse and another toward everyone else it just makes it hard. In otherwords even if Ben won't be around to be patient or kind to I can work on these while he is away and it might be a little hard to do everything when he gets back I would rather stay on course. :)